


theseus?

by sunsetsand



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Emotional Manipulation, Flashbacks, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Hurt No Comfort, No Romance, Tags May Change, Warnings May Change, ahaha it's all pain, all platonic relationships - Freeform, dsmp!wilbur is also a dick, smp!dream is just a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:14:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28898736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsetsand/pseuds/sunsetsand
Summary: “Tommy, while it may be time for our story to end-”Dream gripped his axe in his hand.“I want you to know-”The axe raised above Tubbo’s head.“It was meant to be.” he said with a tearful smile.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Dream SMP Ensemble & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 28
Kudos: 295





	1. nothing matters

**Author's Note:**

> will i ever continue this story? hopefully because i do have a sort-of plot set out but no promises lmao

“I’ll leave you here to say goodbye.” Dream said. The masked figure walked to the other end of the room.

Tommy looked at Tubbo. His friend had not faired well, to say the least. His clothes were ripped. He had a large gash on his side from when Dream had hit him. He was used to this, he was used to everything not being in his favor. They could still get out of this, right? They always had. 

“No, no this isn’t happening- i’m not just going to let him kill you!” Tommy looks around the empty space they’re currently trapped in- a vast expanse of polished black brick and bedrock. “There’s got to be a way out. I’ll distract Dream, and you run through the portal!” 

“He’d kill me before I even make it through.” Tubbo says. 

“You don’t know that, we can make a break for logshedshire!” Tommy whispers. “It’s not over yet..”

Tubbo looks at him. “But Tommy, it is. Y’know, we had our fun? We had our adventures.” His eyes were glossed over. For the first time, since Tommy had known Tubbo, he looked empty. 

“No, there’s got to be someway out. Don’t think like that, theres still a way-”

Tommy was cut off by Tubbo’s embrace. He staggered back.

“It’s my time, Tommy.”

Tommy grabbed Tubbo’s sleeve. “You- you can’t just give up! Not after everything! Not after everything we’ve fought for! The discs, lmanburg, freedom from Dream- If you give up now, what- what was it all for?” Tommy now felt tears well at his eyes. Dream has taken everything from him, everything he’d ever cared about or worked for. Dream had taken everything, except Tubbo. “What am I without you, Tubbo?”

Tubbo looked at him with a melancholy smile on his face. 

“You’re yourself.” He said. 

Dream returned. 

“That’s enough time- any last words, Tubbo?”

He held his axe in his hands, anticipating the final blow. 

This couldn’t be happening. 

No, this couldn’t be happening.  
“Tommy, while it may be time for our story to end-”

Dream gripped his axe in his hand. 

“I want you to know-”

The axe raised above Tubbo’s head.

“It was meant to be.” he said with a tearful smile. 

Tommy looked away, unable to watch. 

His worst fears were confirmed by the cloud of particles left, and the death message displayed in chat. 

His blood ran cold. 

His face turned to stone. 

Dream chuckled a little. 

“Well, that was fun. So, are you ready to head to the prison?”

And, for the first time in Tommy’s life, he was speechless.

Dream smirked under his mask. 

“Cat got your tongue, Theseus?”

He hated the comparison to Theseus. He wasn’t some hero. Not anymore. Heroes saved people.

He couldn’t save Tubbo.

“Get up. I don’t have all day-”

Just then, Punz entered through the nether portal in the center of the room. 

“You should have paid me more, Dream.”

At least 15 more people poured out of the portal. Most clad in glimmering netherite armor.

\---

Dream had evaporated into nothing the second time in a row. 

“GET BACK DOWN HERE, DREAM!” Tommy rang, his voice reverberating through the empty room. 

He had nightmare in his hands. 

He was going to kill Dream for the final time.

Tommy used to have things he cared about. He used to care about the discs, he used to care about lmanberg, about friendship. 

All of that meant nothing anymore. 

Dream shouted from above the platform. 

“Why would I? You’re just going to kill me a third time!”

Tommy laughed, a hint of insanity in his voice. 

“Dream.” He said, his voice nothing lower than a growl. “If you don’t come down here, I’ll kill myself. Then what will you do? Your fun will be gone.” He mumbled miserably.

“You wouldn’t.” He heard from above. 

He whipped his head back. 

“WHAT DO I HAVE TO LIVE FOR, DREAM?” a broken smile on his lips. 

A resounding silence fell. 

“Nothing.” He spat. “The only reason I’m still fucking alive is because I need to kill you.” His voice trembling. 

He felt the hot tears prick at his eyes. 

“So i’ll say it again,” Tommy said. “Get the fuck down here.”

A few seconds later, and the platform started to descend.

As soon as Dream had stepped off the platform, the cool touch of sharpened netherite was at his neck. 

“WOAH, wait!” Dream yelled.  
“Wait? I should wait? You didn’t wait when you killed him.” 

Dream scrambled away, his eyes full of fear. 

Tommy stopped a second. 

Full of fear. 

“Dream, get back here.” Tommy said cooly. 

“No- no hold on, just give me a second!” Dream pleaded.

Tommy looked at Dream with disgust. 

“What? You want mercy? You sick son of a bitch.”

He gripped Nightmare in his hands. 

“If you wanted mercy, you shouldn’t have fucking killed him.”

He was about to swing, when-

“I KNOW HOW TO BRING PEOPLE BACK FROM THE DEAD.”

Come again?

\---

Tommy stepped out of the nether portal, into the greater Dream SMP. 

His anger had been replaced with numbness. He just felt tired. Tired of living, tired of constantly playing this stupid fucking game. 

Everything felt heavy. 

The sun was about to rise. He needed to hurry. 

His pace quickened. 

After several minutes of rushed walking, the bench just came in sight. 

Perfect. The sun is about to set.

He collapsed on the familiar wood bench, and reached for cat in his enderchest.  
The sun began to rise. 

When Tommy thought of grief, he thought of crying, depression. Anger, maybe. 

He didn’t think he’d feel so numb. 

The disc fell in the jukebox. 

He’d seen the sunset a million times. He’s heard this song a million times. But this time it was different, it didn’t have that sense of calm that always used to watch over him. It felt lonely. 

He was determined to stay strong, but just for a moment, he turned to where Tubbo always sat. 

And there, on the ledge of the bench, sat a bee. 

Life is a cruel son of a bitch. 

He heard footsteps. Mentally, he cursed.

Please. Please just leave me alone. 

The last thing he wanted to do was talk to someone. He wanted to sit in his silence, with this stupid fucking bee. He didn’t want to hear the apologies. He didn’t want to hear the condolences. He didn’t care for the half-hearted pity. 

He didn’t want to hear people talk about what a great person Tubbo had been. He didn’t to hear people talk about how brave he was, or what a person he’d become. 

He didn’t want to be the fucking hero.

“Hey, Tommy.” 

Tommy turned around suddenly. 

There stood Technoblade. 

“What are you doing here?” Tommy said, tired. 

“I’m not here to blow something up, kid. Is it so hard for you to believe I have any motive other than violence?”

“Yes.” Tommy replied, which earned a chuckle from Techno. 

“Maybe I deserve that.”  
“Yeah, you massive prick.” 

It was the first time Tommy had joked since it happened. 

There was a silence between them, watching the sunrise. It was quiet. 

Dare I say, nice. 

Techno seemed different. He didn’t seem so cold. 

“Look, kid, I, uh-” He paused. “I heard about Tubbo.”

Tommy laughed bitterly. 

“I appreciate your apology, or whatever, but i’m just not in the mood.” the younger boy replied. “You can sit here in silence, or you can leave.”

And the silence returned. 

The sun had pretty much risen at this point. 

“I’m going to leave now, but if you, uh, needed a place to stay without all of this-” Techno gestured to the greater Dream SMP. “you know where to go.” 

Tommy didn’t nod or give any sort of affirmation.

He was tired. He was so, very, tired. 

He walked back to his house. Despite it only being a few steps away, it took all of his energy just to get there.

He sat down, staring at nothing. 

Who will I be without you?

Yourself. 

What if he didn’t know who he was? What if Tubbo was a core, irreplaceable part of him? Who would he even be? He didn’t care to find out, anymore. 

I have to visit Dream. Tomorrow. 

If there’s any way to bring Tubbo back, I have to try it. God, the last thing I want to do is go back there. 

Can I even face him? Part of me says yes, go and save the day...

Tommy sighed. 

Am I the hero? Am I the hero in this story?

Do I even want to be?

Too many thoughts clouded his brain. He couldn’t sleep. 

He can’t be alone. Not right now, at least. 

\---

Tommy haphazardly threw items into the bag. If he was going back to this place, it wasn’t going to be any time soon. 

The bag slung over his shoulder, he entered the nether portal with a newfound burst of energy. 

The traversal through the nether was boring. No ghasts cared to bother him. 

Half way through the nether, Tommy sat down. 

Am I exhausted or energized? I can’t even tell anymore.

He was sitting on the edge of the bridge. 

I’m not going to look at it. I’m not going to. 

Tommy thought of the last time he looked so deeply into the bubbling red below him. 

No, I don’t want to think about that, I don’t want-

\---

Tommy stood next to the portal leading into L’Manburg.

“Can’t I just go in to see the christmas tree?” he asked. 

He missed L’manburg so, so much. 

“No, Tommy.” crept the familiar haunting voice. 

“Why not? I just- I just want to celebrate christmas with my friends.”

Dream was leaning against the black brick encasing the nether portal.

“You still can, just not in L’manburg.” the older man replied. 

A voice pipped up from behind.

“I want to see the christmas tree!” Ghostbur’s voice rang, followed by Sapnap. 

“I’ll go to!” 

Dream eyed Tommy. 

“I’ll go aswell.” he said, his mask illuminated by the warm light of the nether. 

Ghostbur tried, and failed, to hug Tommy. 

“I’ll take a picture of it for you! Don’t worry!” 

Tommy had little time to respond or argue when all three of them had gone through the nether portal. 

He stood there, miserably, when his eyes turned to the bubbling liquid below him. A small part of him wondered how quick it would be. How painful. Would he feel it? Or would it just be there and gone- 

A shove forced him out of his thoughts, and he looked in confusion to see Dream. 

Fuck, did he see me doing that?

“Tommy.” he heard, in that classic mocking tone apparently only reserved for himself. 

He looked away, again staring at the lava. He was met with another light shove.

The platform widened as dream added more to the bridge where Tommy was standing. 

“It’s not your time to die, Tommy.” 

Tommy started walking back towards logshedshire, determined to not let anyone see the tears welling in his eyes. 

“It’s never my time to die.”

\---

When Tommy finally woke up, he found himself not in the nether, but in someone’s oddly familiar house. 

Did he subconsciously walk all the way there? Why was he in bed, and where was all his stuff?

He heard hushed whispers from above him, and focused on the two voices. 

“He’s not doing good, Phil. I saw him at the bench, and nearly didn’t recognize him.” the first voice murmured. It sounded familiar, but Tommy didn’t have the heart to remember who. 

“But there’s still the resurrection! Hasn’t anyone gotten the book from Dream yet?” the other voice spoke. 

“No. People have tried. The only person he’ll talk to is Tommy.”

That woke him up.

He quickly got out of bed, which proved to be a mistake as his head was running laps around him and pounding. He didn’t wait for it to recede, and climbed up to where the two men now sat in silence, who he had now identified as Techno and Phil.

His head had, thankfully, lightened up as he uttered words, albeit with difficulty. 

“He’ll only see me?”

The two men nearly jumped in surprise. 

“Tommy? You’re awake?” Techno responded.

“I mean, yeah.” Tommy replied. “How did I get here?” 

Phil looked away nervously for a second. “Well, Techno was going to go back to L’manburg to talk to you again, and, well-”

“I found you lying on the floor next to the ledge of the bridge.” Techno said.

So he hadn’t subconsciously walked there. 

“And as for what I was talking about earlier, It’s been about a day. Several people have gone to see Dream, including myself, and he’s basically mute. All he says is that he’ll only talk to , well, you.”

Tommy did NOT want to see Dream, that much was obvious. However, it was starting to look more and more like that was his last option. 

“okay. “ Tommy whispered. “I’ll go see the son of a bitch.”

Phil and Techno both wore a worried look on their face. 

Phil sighed. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, Tommy. It’s only been, what, 12 hours since he kidnapped you? Um, killed him in front of you? Maybe it’s best to wait a bit.”

Techno nodded in silent agreement. 

“I can’t just sit here while Tubbo is dead.” Tommy said, fidgeting with the sleeves of his shirt. “If there’s any way at all to bring him back, I have to try. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t.”

“Wait here.” Techno said. 

Tommy did as he was told, although it didn’t stop him from eavesdropping on the conversation. To be fair, they weren’t very quiet people. 

“He’s just a child! You’re just going to send him off to his abuser that quite literally killed his best friend in front of him hours ago?”

“He’s a smart kid. I’ve been in his place before, I know what it feels like to need to have tried every option. If you don’t, it just eats you alive.”

“He’s not ready! Who’s to say Dream just tries to manipulate him again?”

“He very well might! But Tommy- Tommy’s stronger than that now. He can see past the lies.”

“Techno, do you remember what you told me Tommy was muttering when you found him in the nether?”

Tension filled the air. 

“He- he was muttering something. It sounded like, uh-”

“Techno, What did he say.”

“It’s never my time to die.”

“Does that sound like a child ready to face intense manipulation?”

“Phil, we don’t have a choice. I know Tommy because i’ve been him. Either we help him through this on his terms, or he’s just going to leave again. We won’t be there to help him.”

A second pause, this time twice as long. 

“Fine. But I don’t like this one bit.”

Tommy watched as the two men climbed down the ladder to return to him.

“So, who’s bringing me to the prison?” Tommy asked.


	2. at my mercy, again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream walked closer to where Tommy stood, and despite being only an inch taller, felt like he was towering over him.
> 
> “You’re terrified.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! i just wanted to say thank you SO MUCH, we hit around 100 kudos in just 2 days and that's insane. also, i wanted to mention I did mess up the tags when i first started this work- i'm new to ao3, or at least writing on here, and some very kind people graciously pointed out to me i was infact accidentally using the romatic tag for tommy and tubbo. *que me panicking trying to fix my tags when i should be doing homework* but yeah. so don't worry, this is NOT a romantic fic at all. again, thank you for all the support! enjoy the chapter :)
> 
> TW- suicidal thoughts, choking

The trip to the colossal building standing infront of them was not an easy one. Traveling had never been Tommy’s strong suit, he much preferred staying exactly where he was and having other people deal with it. Infact, the only thing that used to make travel bearable was Tubbo’s jokes about-

_ Tubbo.  _

Tommy wanted to stop in his tracks, to give in to the grief flooding through his body at that very moment. He wanted that very much, infact. 

However, there were much more important things to do right now. Namely, interrogating his abuser for a book. 

As the monstorous prison came into sight, Tommy’s mind wandered. 

_ I was supposed to be locked up in there. _

The thing was massive, encased with cold black brick and shinny jail bars. As they neared the entrance, he was startled by the man infront of him speaking for the first time in the hours since they’d left the dock located by logshedshire.

“Tommy. Before you go in, I want to talk to you.” 

Techno looked a bit nervous, which is something Tommy hadn’t seen very much. Nonetheless, it was sorta nice to know someone cared about him. 

_ What a shame it’ll be when Techno hears news of my death _ , he quietly thought to himself. 

_ I mean, if this resurrection thingy doesn’t work, I don’t- _ Tommy hesitates over his own thoughts.  _ I don’t really see any other option.  _

“What is it?” Tommy asked. 

“I just, uh, want you to know that i understand. I understand you gotta do this.” He shoots a dark look at the prison. “Doesn’t mean I like it, though. That green bastard’s fucked with you far too long. So, remember none of this is your fault. You’re not the problem here. He-” Techno vaguely gestures to the prison. “-is. Don’t let your gaurd down, and don’t believe anything he says, okay?” 

Tommy blinked. “You got it, pal.”

Tommy arrived at the entrance of the prison. There stood Sam.

“You ready, Tommy? Step through the portal.”

\---

After what seemed like the endless security checks and meaningless layers of protection, there Tommy stood. Waiting for the lava to stop flooding the room he was about to enter into was rather annoying, especially because Tommy couldn’t sit still for five seconds and this lava was taking forever to drain. 

“Did you know one of my new year’s resolutions was to become more like 2010 Justin Bieber?”

He couldn’t help it. Humor was the only way he knew how to break the tension that clouded the air in the room. Unfortunately, it didn’t look like it was working. 

Sam looked at him. What was usually a laid-back guy, pretty easy to make small talk with, had been replaced by this rather creepy silent warden now staring at him with an unreadable look in his eyes. 

Thankfully, he was spared by the lava now finally having drained. 

“Tommy, when I press this button, stay on the bridge.”

“Or what?” Tommy asked inquisitively. 

“Or you’ll fall one hundred feet into a pit of searing lava. Which would be a pretty canon death for you, Theseus.” 

Tommy’s previously nervous demeanor had been replaced with one of agitation. 

“I’m not Theseus.” he replied. 

“Whatever you say, pal. Just don’t fall off the bridge.”

Suddenly, Tommy realized the brick he was standing on previously was MOVING. 

“HOLY SHIT!” he screamed out of habit. “WHAT THE FUCK, SAM?”

However, Sam could no longer hear him as his platform docked at the obsidian tank Dream had been encapsulated in. 

The awkwardness in the air was not lost on Tommy. 

“Uh, hi? Shit. That wasn’t cool. I need to redo that. Hello, you green bastar- no, too overdone. Oh, i’ve got it! How it do, bitch boy-” 

Tommy was interrupted by the laughing reverberating throught he obsidian jail. 

“Even after everything, even after I exiled you, I killed your best friend, god, you’re still trying to impress me!” Dream leaned against the wall. “Oh, Tommy, you’re so easily to manipulate. To control. It’s a shame you were able to pay off Punz, the fun I would have had if you were in my position-”

It was Tommy’s turn to interrupt now. “Stop it! God, you’re just as fucking awful as you were yesterday. So much for trying to redeem yourself.”

Dream, finally void of his mask, stole a glance at Tommy. “Why do you think I care about redeeming myself? So what. Everyone’s found out about my little secret plan to keep you under my control. Doesn’t change a thing.”

Tommy shook with fear, despite all his effort going to not doing that exact thing. 

Dream laughed, again. 

_ Fuck this guy.  _ He thought to himself, as if he hasn’t already thought that a million times before. 

“Oh Tommy. Remember all the fun we- actually, more like I, you were just miserable, had? God, you were so pathetic. ‘Dream, please can I keep my armor, please?’ ‘Dream, why does nobody care about me?’” Dream mocked. 

The younger male gulped silently. 

“I remember when you were at my complete mercy. That was so much fun. You know, you’re a fun guy, Tommy. You might try to hide under all your ‘fook yoo!s’ and your incessant cursing, but under all of that-”

Dream walked closer to where Tommy stood, and despite being only an inch taller, felt like he was towering over him, grinning maniacally.

“You’re terrified.” 

“BACK OFF!” Tommy shouted. “I’m not scared of you. You’re locked in this massive place, and guess what? You’re never getting out. Not as long as i’m alive.” 

Dream gave an amused look. “Oh, but Tommy- I’ve already figured out how to get out of here.”

“No, you can’t. You’re bluffing.” 

“Am I, Tommy? Guess you’ll have to wait and see.” Dream shrugged. 

“What could you have possibly found, huh? Sorry if I don’t think you’re going to somehow get your way of this, oh, how did you put it? ‘Inescapable prison’?”

Dream chuckled. 

“Tommy, I told you about a book Schlatt hand given me. I told you it contained the power to bring people back to life, which it does. However, that’s not the only thing listed in that book. There was something else. Do you want to know what it was?”

Hesitantly, Tommy nodded. 

Dream wheezed. 

“LIKE I’M GOING TO TELL YOU!” he yelled. Dream wheezed some more.

_ I hope he chokes to death,  _ Tommy thought. 

“God, Tommy. It is just so goddamn easy. I give you a morsel of hope and you chase it around like a fucking puppy! You do whatever I tell you to do as long as I threaten the discs, or lmanburg, or  _ your tubbo- _ ” 

The look of bemusement on Dream’s face fell when he realized Tommy was choking him. 

“DON’T YOU DARE SPEAK HIS NAME!” Tommy shouted. Still choking Dream, in a much more resigned voice, he continued. “What did the book say.” 

“Like i’d tell you.” Dream spoke, although he was starting to look less certain with each passing second with no oxygen. 

“Tell me or you die.” 

Dream frantically pawed at the hands grasping his throat, to no avail. A minute had passed, and it looked like he was about to pass out when- 

“OK! OK!”

Tommy’s arms fell slack at his side. 

“The book had two things written in it. How to bring people back to life, and-”

“Go on.” Tommy replied, his face stone. 

“And something called Gamemode Creative.”

“What the fuck is a gamemode creative?” Tommy replied. 

“That’s all i’m telling you.” Dream coughed into his toilet. 

The two sat in hateful silence for a minute. 

  
“I want the book, Dream.” 

“No.”

“Give it to me!” 

“No.” 

“GIVE IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW YOU SON OF A BITCH.”

“ _ TOMMY!  _ God, do you really think that’s going to work on me?” Dream grinned. “Swearing at me? Threatening me? Maybe it’d do a smidge more if you weren’t on half a heart. Or if you were competent in any way, shape, or form. You don’t scare me, Tommy. I know how to manipulate you. I know your fears, your weakness.You’re still just a fucking child.” 

Tommy refused to entertain the hot stings he felt at his eyes.  _ Not now.  _

“I know how to hurt you. How to bend you to my will, how to render you completely useless. Make no mistake, Tommy. You have no power here. And once i’m out of here, which will be any day now, I am  **never** going to let you leave my grasp again. You’ll be my little experiment I keep around for amusement.” 

He grabbed the book from his enderchest. 

“So have it. It’s not going to work, anyways. It was, how to put this lightly. A  _ rightful  _ death.”

“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!” Tommy screamed as he shoved Dream into the wall. 

“That’s enough, Tommy. Visiting hours are over.” He heard Sam call from the other side of the chamber. 

“Just my luck.” Dream grinned. Tommy let Dream go with a shove and grabbed the book in his hands. “Until we meet again, Theseus.” he said coldly. 

\---

Tommy walked out of the prison, and Techno was waiting for him. 

“What did he say?” Techno asked. 

  
“A lot of bullshit.”

“As per usual.” Techno replied.

“He rambled on about me being scared of him, totally untrue by the way. Talked alot about what a weird manipulative fuck he is. Oh, and something called Gamemode Creative” Techno’s brows furrowed at the mention of gamemode creative. Also, I got the book. He said it wouldn’t work, so he didn’t care if I had it.”

“Well, not too bad, kid. Don’t let anything he said get to you, alright?”

“Yup. I got it.”

As they made their way back to Techno’s base, Tommy couldn’t help but wonder what the fuck “gamemode creative” was. Maybe it was some sort of weapon? Or mob? 

_ He was probably just messing with you. You know how awful he is.  _ He thought. 

He decided to go with the reasoning it was all fake. Why would he tell Tommy anyways? It was probably all just another sick joke in Dream’s mind. 

In the back of his head, a part of him was swirling with subtle clues he’d picked up at the prison. The way Dream’s eyes flooded with insanity; not a hint of reservation. The completely serious look Dream had given him when talking about gamemode creative. And most worrying of all, the nagging feeling he’d heard of this “gamemode creative” thing before, too. 

But for now, he had the book. He  _ was  _ going to revive Tubbo and everything  _ was _ going to be okay.

So he shoved those thoughts into the back of his mind. 

Eventually, the warm light that eminated from Techno’s base could be seen. As they walked towards it, however, Tommy started to get a weird feeling. Like he was being watched. 

Once they entered their base, Tommy locked himself in the basement he’d fashioned himself long ago. He could hear Techno and Phil arguing again, but he didn’t care anymore. 

Why wouldn’t that nagging feeling go away? 

He’d deal with it in the morning, he thought.

For now, he’d sleep. 

As he closed his eyes, He got the troublesome feeling his dreams were going to be anything but pleasant tonight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter, which will hopefully be in the next 2-5 days, will mainly be focusing on Tommy's exile and the trauma from that. damn, i really took hurt/no comfort to heart in this fic.


	3. breaking down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we'll meet again. don't know where, don't know when... but i know we'll meet again, some sunny day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's here! this chapter was much easier to write, which i'm very thankful for. thank you everyone for the support, i hope you enjoy!

As Tommy slept, flashbacks of his past, and what brought him to this very moment swirled in his head.

\---

Tubbo looked at Tommy. 

Tommy gave him a slight grin, as if to convey the words: “I believe in you, Tubbo. You’ve come so far as president, and you will carry on the legacy of L’manburg. We both will, together.”

Well, maybe not ALL that, but it was a very encouraging smile. 

Tommy was confused by the expression on Tubbo’s face, where his normal happy demeanor was replaced by what he could only describe as a combination of helplessness and misery. 

It was probably nothing. 

There Dream stood, in front of Tubbo, clad in glistening netherite armor. “I guess I just wanted to see what your decision was, what you guys came to.”

Tommy could almost imagine it. Tubbo valiantly defending him against Dream, laughing because it was out of the question.

After all, they were best friends. 

Tubbo stole one last glance at Tommy. “Tommy, I am so so sorry.” Tommy squinted his eyes confused, why would he be sorry? 

“I’ve come to the decision that the best, most logical thing to do as the leader of this country…”

Silence. Complete and utter silence. 

“Is for Tommy to be exiled from L’manburg.”

Tommy felt himself breaking down inside, even if it didn’t show on the outside. “Tubbo, what-” 

“We just talked about this!” Quackity yelled. 

“What?!” Fundy shouted.

“None of you are thinking with logic! All of you are thinking with emotion! We have to do what is best for L’manburg and ANOTHER WAR is not!”

Tommy remained in a shocklike state while Quackity and Fundy yelled at Tubbo. 

Fundy looked so angry. Angrier than even the middle of wars. “Y- yknow who you’re acting like right now? You’re acting like Schlatt!”

Quackity piped up. “I was Schlatt’s right hand man, Tubbo. Fundy’s right. This is the exact same shit he would pull.”

If Tubbo is Schlatt, then does that make Tommy the new Wilbur?

After a minute or so more of bickering, Tommy felt the shove of the blunt end of an axe in his back. “Hey, what the fu-”

“Tommy. It’s time for you to leave.”

“Wha- no- Tubbo, no this can’t be happening. I built this nation, I started it right alongside Wilbur, how can you-”

“If you care about L’manburg, then you of all people will understand why I have to do this, Tommy.”

This isn’t fair. This isn’t right, this isn’t fair-

“Tommy. Now.” Dream commanded. 

Why was this happening to him? Had he not given up everything for this nation, including his own discs? Had his own brother slowly go insane and die for this nation? 

Did he not suffer enough for this nation?

His silent questions were answered by nobody, and as he walked away from L’manburg, he took one last moment to take it all in. All the pain, all the tears, every last drop of blood shed for this nation he had helped build from the very beginning.

All, for nothing at all.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, a voice played in Tommy’s head. 

_ “Theseus killed the minotaur, he saved his city! And you know what they did to him? They exiled him. He died in disgrace. _

_ Good things don’t happen to heroes, Tommy.” _

_ \--- _

The sun’s intense heat did not lessen as Tommy worked tirelessly chopping down trees. Tired, hungry, lonely. It had been a day after his exile, and already he felt as if he was being crushed. Part of him tried to be optimistic, to look on the bright side of things. In just one day, he had managed to set up a decent site (with a lot of help from ghostbur), he’d gotten a shiny set of iron armor, and the best part yet: he’d gotten a lucky streak while mining and managed to find enough diamonds for a sword  _ and  _ pickaxe. 

Tommy eventually tired of opting trees, and seeing as the sun seemed no closer to setting, he decided to fashion a jukebox he could play his music discs on. 

Once the jukebox had been crafted, he reached into his ender chest to look for  _ Chirp,  _ and quickly found it after spotting the bright red circle in the middle of the disc. 

_ It’s no cat or mellohi, but it will do.  _

He sat there in silence for a while. There wasn’t much to do in exile, and it was so very boring. 

He was contemplating his means of escaping exile when he heard the telltale  _ whoosh  _ of someone exiting the nether portal. 

Ghostbur was probably back. 

He went to go greet the ghostly friend, when he saw this was not infact Ghostbur. 

No, standing infront of him was Dream. 

Dream. Standing infront of him with full netherite armor and weapons.

“Can I help you, dickhead?” Tommy snorted.

Dream’s taunting mask, the smile crudely painted in what he could only hope was ink, stared directly at Tonmy. 

“You can, actually. I’m here to do my daily check-up on you, and before anything else can happen, this needs to.”

“What needs to?”

Dream was digging dirt so fast it seemed inhuman. 

_ What exactly was he planning.  _

After a sizeable hole had been dug, Dream stared at Tommy.

“Tommy, drop your stuff in the whole.”

“What? No, these are all my things. I earnt them.”

Dream repeated himself. “Tommy, drop your stuff in the hole.”

“Fuck off. I’m not giving them to you.”

The green man was quickly getting agitated. “Tommy, drop your stuff in the hole or i’ll kill you.”

Tommy considered this for a second. “I don’t care. Do it.”

Dream looked at Tommy, who did not seem to buy Tommy’s bluff. The sharp pain of an axe hitting his shoulder rang through Tommy like a wave.

“Alright! Alright, Jesus fucking Christ!” Tommy screamed. 

Tommy had dropped all his armor, his tools, everything he’d worked for. Everything that gave him hope. 

The look of horror on his face when the lit tnt dropped down the hole made Dream smirk under his mask. 

“You son of a bitch, you green bastard-”

“Now that we’ve taken care of that, we can talk! How has exile been, Tommy?” Dream asked, a little too innocently. 

“I hate you so goddamn much. Get the fuck out.”

“Can’t do that, Tommy. Gotta keep an eye on you.” 

The look of unbridled hatred in Tommy’s eyes was somewhat amusing to Dream, it seemed.

“Go to hell, Dream.”

\---

A cycle was formed. 

Dream showed up. Tommy cursed at him. Tommy was forced to put his things in the pit, and then Dream blew it up. 

“Can I please just keep my diamond sword?” he asked quietly. 

“No, Tommy. It doesn’t work like that.”

Tommy silently threw his diamond sword in the hole, and felt a single hot tear fall down his cheek as the tnt exploded beneath them.

Tommy sat down by the campfire, while BadBoyHalo silently passed him a loaf of bread he gladly took a bite of. 

Dream sheathed the axe behind his back. “You may just prove to be a valuable asset to me.”

Tommy grew angry very quickly. “What could you possibly want more from me? You’ve tortured me-”

“I’m just keeping an eye on you, Tommy-” 

“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?” Tommy shouted.

“I’m just- i’m just making sure you’re not up to no good.” The taller man replied awkwardly.

“Well how could I! You’ve exiled me, you stupid manipulative fuckin-”

“YEAH I KNOW!”

Dream sat in contemplation for a few seconds. 

“You’re the only one who doesn’t listen to me, Tommy. You never listen to me, if I tell you to do something you go ‘No! Fuck you!’” He pauses. “You’re like a little annoying bug in my room, and now i’ve taken you outside. Now I just make sure you’re staying outside.”

Tommy huffed, and let everyone fall into a comfortable silence.

\---

It was the day of the beach party. The day everyone was coming to visit him again! Phil, Fundy, Ranboo, Quackity, even Tubbo. They were all going to visit him!

Each letter was delicately printed, Each wax seal carefully pressed. Tommy was giddy with excitement for the first time in months. 

_ Looks like everyone’s late. Hmm, maybe I got the time mixed up? _

Tommy checked with his clock. 

_ This looks right. They should be here. _

_ Maybe they’re just fashionably late. _

About 30 minutes had gone by when Tommy ruled out the possibility of them being fashionably late. 

_ Do they really all hate me that much? _

Then, Dream was there. 

“Hey, sorry i’m late, something came up and-” Dream looked around confused. “Where’s everyone else? Did I get the time mixed up?”

Tommy sighed. “No, Dream. Nobody came.” He stated dejectedly. 

_ Not even Ghostbur bothered to show up, for fuck’s sake. _

“That’s a shame.” Dream commented. “Seem’s like you put a lot of effort into this. I’m sorry.”

“OH SHIT! I forgot, sorry.” Tommy yelled. “Here’s my stuff. I forgot to give it to you.” Tommy was rushing to drop everything he had on the ground. 

Dream smiled under his mask. “It’s alright, Tommy. You can keep it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Really.”

\---

Tommy was laughing at the cow spinning when everything went to shit. 

The mooshroom he had affectionatley named “Mushroom Henry” was currently spinning in circles, and it was the funniest thing he’d seen all day. 

“Dream, come look at this! This silly motherfucker!” He yelled. 

He was met with silence. 

“Dream?” He called out. 

Silence, with the sound of a chest opening. 

Tommy was searching for Dream, and was also moved to silence when he realized where Dream was and how truly fucked he was. 

Silently, Dream placed TNT in the hidden stash and blew it up. 

“My things!”

Everything quickly turned into a nightmare as Dream blew up every single last thing Tommy cared about. 

Tommy didn’t know what else he could possibly do as the prime log was reduced to ashes.

Or when tnret exploded into nothing. 

Or when Dream murdered Mushroom Henry in front of him.

“Tommy. You can’t go to the nether. No one can visit you,” Dream shook with unbridled rage. “Until you learn to listen.”

“I wasn’t- I wasn’t going to hold on much longer, Dream, it wasn’t going to be- I mean, look at me man!”

Dream appeared as if he was rolling his eyes at Tommy, despite Tommy’s inability to see the man’s face. “Oh come on, Tommy. You were never actually going to go through with, with  _ it. _ ”

The mask bore into Tommy’s eyes. “Think about what you’ve done, Tommy.” and just like that, Dream was gone. 

\---

Memory after memory, played consecutively, and conveniently, in chronological order. 

Tommy was confused, though. This wasn’t a flashback. 

He observed his surroundings, and quickly started to panic. 

_ He was in the prison. He was the prisoner.  _

Before he knew it, he was screaming. 

“LET ME OUT! YOU’VE MADE A MISTAKE, ITS SUPPOSED TO BE DREAM IN HERE!” his throat sore from all the screaming. 

“PLEASE! ANYONE! HELP!”

His screaming was quickly stopped by the sound of piano music. 

_ What the fuck? _

When he turned around, the room had morphed. He was still in the prison, but there was a piano now. 

To his absolute horror, there, at the piano, stood Dream. His mask dripping with what he could only assume was blood. 

“We’ll meet again.. don’t know where, don’t know when! But I know we’ll meet again, some sunny day.” Dream sang.

He turned to Tommy. 

“This dream is much better than my last one. Much more fun to be in control, don’t you think, dream version of Tommy?” 

Tommy stared at him, still terrified. “Uh… what?”

Dream laughed. “I never did mind playing the villain, Tommy.” He stood inches away from Tommy. “Especially when you make such an interesting hero, Theseus.” Dream was laughing again, especially after noticing the look of loathing on Tommy’s face after his last comment. 

He squinted at Tommy. “What is it with you and that comparison, Tommy? Why do you hate it so much? If I recall correctly, it used to be a point of pride for you.” Dream sniggered. “Is it because of Tubbo? Do you not feel like an invincible hero anymore, Theseus?” 

Tommy had never felt rage like this before. He was about to scream, to yell, to curse Dream out for every horrible thing, when suddenly the world was changing around him. 

And he was on the bench, overlooking L’manburg. He was laughing, he was laughing with someone! It was Tubbo!

He turned to look at his dearly missed friend. 

And there was nothing.

He was falling, he was falling, he was falling…

He woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i straight up steal from gravity falls? yes. do i have any regrets? no. Bill Cipher ain't got nothing on me, bitch


	4. newfound hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy, 
> 
> If you have found this, i’m sorry. 
> 
> I’m so very sorry. 
> 
> Tommy blinked. 
> 
> You don’t need to be sorry, Tubbo. I’ll have you back soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it took me a bit longer to get this chapter out, sorry. i do however think the contents more than make up for the delay :) enjoy!
> 
> tw- idealization of death (?)

Tommy shoots out of his bed. Multiple thoughts racing through his head, all screaming at him to  _ do something. _ Grief, anger, embarrasment, and sadness come in waves, each hitting him harder than the first.

_ This isn’t my fault. This isn’t my fault. This isn’t my fault. This isn’t my fault.  _ Tommy stands up.  _ No, this is Dream’s fault. I can fix this. I can get him back.  _

_ I don’t need anyone. I just need Tubbo back.  _

He starts frantically rushing around the house, searching for the book Dream had given him, when he finally finds it in one of his bags. 

The book is old and worn. The leather cover is creased and the shiny gold lettering has faded. The cover has vines and flowers circling the title: “ _ memento mori” _ . He remembers Techno teaching him as a child about latin and greek mythology. 

“Remember you must die.” Tommy mutters under his breath.

Tommy flips through the pages rather carelessly. The paper has been tinted a goldish brown after god knows how many years of wear and tear, and with each passing page, Tommy seems to leave behind more and more rips in the delicate fiber. 

Tommy notices the empty spaces where pages were clearly torn out, but decides to ignore it.

“Finally.”

He traces over the words delicately written on the page in ornate cursive.

_ melius recta se in malum _

_ To bring someone back to life after death is a very tricky practice. The procedure itself is very simple, but it is a tedious process that requires intimate knowledge of the person you are trying to revive.  _

_ First, you must obtain two things. A totem of undying is the first. The second is more complicated.  _

_ Ghosts, before they enter the afterlife, must choose one thing to tether their soul to. Most often this is a picture or trinket. In this item they leave a part of their soul, necessary before they leave their original plane of existence. This item is the most important part of someones life.  _

_ Find this item, as the second item required for this ritual.  _

_ Then, go to a place the dead enjoyed. Something connected with happy memories, like friends or family. Then, take the item and the totem. Now smash the totem on the item. If you have succeeded in finding the correct item, the totem will break, and should the ritual suceed, you should have your loved one back.  _

Tommy ran to pack his things. He had nobody, nothing. All of them viewed him as a child, as something to be used or to be pitied. Everyone but Tubbo. 

And he was going to get Tubbo back. 

Before he could rationalize his thoughts, he was running around the SMP. The adults looked at him with sadness and pity as they heard his frantic plea, and he hated it. 

_ Once Tubbo is back this will all be over. _

Around 25 people were crowded over by Tommy’s house. 

“Hello, everyone.” Tommy stood infront of all of them. “I’ve gathered you all here for Tubbo’s revival. I have Dream’s book, and I know what to do now.”

People started murmuring through the cloud. Tommy got glimpses of different reactions; some nervous, some hopeful. But at least everyone wore a look of pure worry. 

“For this ritual to work, we need to find the most important item in Tubbo’s life. It can be a picture, a tool, it really doesn’t specify. We also need a totem of undying.”

Silence ran through the crowd in waves, seemingly louder than the screams of battle Tommy knew so well. 

“Does anyone have a totem of undying?” Tommy asked to the crowd.

_ Silence _

“Come on guys, it’s Tubbo! Doesn’t anyone have a totem?” 

_ Silence _

“Are you all serious right no-”

Tommy was interrupted by Awesamdude, his crown offsetting the suit of netherite he always wore. “You can have mine, Tommy.” He reached into his ender chest and handed the golden figurine to Tommy. 

“Thank you, Awesamdude. Now, i’m not quite sure what item we’re looking for. All we know is that Tubbo regarded it as the most important thing in his life. So, everyone split up and look for what it might have been. 

Ranboo and Quackity, you two look in Cedar Rapids. Niki and Fundy, you look in L’manburg crater. Jack and Sam, look in Snowchester. Sapnap and George, you look around the outer Dream SMP.” 

Everyone nodded. 

_ It’s the least they could do.  _

“I’m going to be searching his white house. Everyone meet back here in, let’s say 3 hours. Go.”

Everyone started walking off with their assigned partner to their assigned location. Tommy begrudgingly made it to Tubbo’s white house. 

Doubts whipped around his head, silent tears falling down his face as he entered the large building. 

The first thing Tommy noticed was the small bee apothecary Tubbo had. It was filled with flowers and the smell of honey radiated from it. The scent was so intense from weeks with no upkeep it made Tommy woozy. 

Tommy walked through the living room, which was rather plain. A large couch with the L’manburg flag proudly displayed on the wall. Vast collections of books lined the walls, of which Tommy had never bothered with and never would. 

Memories rushed over him in waves, each hurting more than the last. Tommy felt weak. 

The pain wasn’t physical anymore; it was all the loneliness, all the feelings of regret and anger all festering inside his head until walking felt impossible. 

The office. Tubbo’s office, a mahogany desk front and center. The colors of L’manburg seen in everything throught the office, the windows bringing in beams of light. The office wasn’t in perfect condition; after L’manburg’s explosion Tubbo had gone and taken some of the most prized possessions of his and brought them to Snowchester. But this place still resembled a part of him; and Tommy wasn’t sure if he liked it or not. 

Tommy was about to leave the house, to call it quits, when he noticed a room he had missed. 

It was a medium-sized room, and it was filled with memories. Photos of Tubbo with friends, with Tommy, all sporting their uniforms decorated with the blue, red and white of L’manburg. The declaration of independence written by Wilbur was still there, framed. An arrow from the duel for independence was there. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Tommy saw something shiny. He walked towards the corner of the room, filled with boxes and dust. 

A simple compass. 

“It can’t be…” Tommy whispered. 

The engraving on the back confirmed what Tommy had feared. “ _ Your Tommy _ ” ran smoothly across his calloused fingers. 

_ Why had he left this here? Didn’t this explode in a fire?  _ Tommy sat on the floor.  _ Did this really mean that little to him? _

Tommy was about to stand up when he noticed the letter amongst the boxes, neatly labeled “Tonmmy”.

The tears were inescapable as he slipped the letter out of it’s elegant packaging. 

_ Tommy,  _

_ If you have found this, i’m sorry.  _

_ I’m so very sorry.  _

Tommy blinked. 

_ You don’t need to be sorry, Tubbo. I’ll have you back soon. _

The walk back to Tommy’s house was easier than expected, everything feeling less heavy with the compass in his pocket. 

Everyone had made it back before him, and silently handed him various memorabilia. A photo of all of the original L’maburg residents. Blue wool, named “Blue Premium Bond”. The first flag of L’manburg ever made. A bee charm. 

Not a word could be heard when Tommy walked towards the bench he and Tubbo had shared. 

First, he tried the wool. The totem bounced off it harmlessly. Then he tried the photo. The totem remained intact. Then, he tried the bee charm. The totem seemed to damage it more than it damaged the totem. The flag had no success either. 

He pulled the compass out of his pocket. He held it tightly for a moment, and placed it on the ground. The totem in another, the atheist prayed to whoever was listening. 

_ Bring him back. _

The totem came crashing down onto the compass, and the compass shattered. Bits of metal and glass made their way into the dirt, and Tommy realized it was raining. 

The tears fell freely now, as Tommy felt all his energy leave his body. 

_ No, that was supposed to work, why didn’t it work- _

Tommy wrapped his arms around his knees. In anger, confusion, or grief Tommy slammed the totem against his shin.

He didn’t notice the shards of gold that had implanted themselves in his shin, or the broken figure in his hands. 

He was still crying when a familiar voice could be heard through the crashing rain. 

“Tommy?”

Tommy was standing up, looking around, and suddenly he made eye contact with Tubbo. 

“Tubbo?” 

And before Tommy knew what he was doing he was running to him, like unshakable human instinct he was running. 

“Tubbo, you’re here! You’re- why are you so grey?” 

Tubbo smiled at Tommy. “Tommy, why don’t you read the ritual again.”

Tommy grabbed it out of his bag.  _ Totem of undying, item tethered to soul, all of it was here- _

His eyes fell to a paragraph he had previously missed. 

_ Heed this warning: Death is a fickle thing. It is uncontrollable, unplannable, and inescapable. To live is to accept death; to die is to accept life. A rightful death cannot be stopped or reversed; it is not in the interest of the universe to make it’s own job harder. Please beware before you attempt this.  _

“No, but Tubbo; it wasn’t your time! Punz came in  _ seconds _ after you died, it wasn’t- it wasn’t written in our fates.” 

“Tommy.”

“No, it’s not. We’re- we’re meant to be happy! We’re supposed to be celebrating. We should be playing our discs and celebrating. We-” Tommy was searching, searching for any possible thing to make this not true. “We never got to be happy. When do I- when do we get to be happy?” 

Tubbo’s eyes softened. “Tommy, every second with you was when I got to be happy. Being friends with you- that was my happy.” Tubbo sniffled. “Tommy, I lived. I lived for independence and for L’manburg. I lived for you to get your discs back, I lived for our friendship. And eventually, once you’ve run out of things to live for, death seems more like a sweet embrace than a cold finality. My place in the universe, is in death. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, Tommy.” 

Reaching out through the rain, reaching out for Tubbo, Tommy finds himself unable to speak. 

“Goodbye, Tommy.”

Tommy pulled Tubbo into an embrace, the chill of the rain shivering through his body. 

“Why do you have to leave?” he asks, sobbing. 

Tubbo whispers. “It’s my time.” 

The hot tears pour down Tommy’s face, seemingly becoming one with the rain. 

“In another life, we’ll have forever.” 

Tommy blinked, and Tubbo was gone. 

Tommy weeps in the rain. Weeps for everything lost, weeps for everything taken away from him. 

The adults crowd around him, unsure of what to do. Some try to console him, or try to move him, or get him to do anything. 

He does not move. 

He stays like that for a long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter is gonna hit really hard. no spoilers, but just be prepared haha.
> 
> also, thank you everyone for 1,500 hits! it means so much to me. thank you all!!!


	5. taste failure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “All of you have his blood on your hands. All of you are to blame.” 
> 
> He turned to face the audience of shocked people in front of him. 
> 
> “And I will never forgive any of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i highly recommend you play "stuff we did" from up the disney movie when you start the chapter! really adds to the feels :)
> 
> as always, please enjoy!

“Tubbo!” Tommy yelled. 

“What is it, Tommy?” Tubbo shouted, searching for his friend. 

“I’m over here, Tubbo! By the big tree!” 

Tommy was sniffling in the shade of the huge tree in the middle of the Dream SMP. Tommy’s knee was bleeding and the tears were flowing when Tubbo had found him. 

“Tommy! What happened?” Tubbo asked.

“D-Dream took m-my bandana you gave me. Then he shoved me into the tree and I hurt my knee.” Tommy started bawling. “Tubbo, i’m so sorry! I should have been able to fight him off! It’s ok, I understand if you hate me now…”

The two nine-year-olds looked at each other. 

“Tommy, I could never hate you!” 

“Really?” Tommy smiled. 

“Never. No matter what.” Tubbo grinned back at his best friend. “I’m going to go talk to Dream, maybe he’ll give you the bandana back!” 

Tubbo was already standing up when Tommy grabbed his hand. “Wait! Please, please don’t leave. Just stay with me, Tubbo.” 

Tubbo smiled. “Ok. I’ll stay with you.” He sat down next to Tommy, as the sun set in the distance. 

“Tubbo, can you promise me something?” Tommy looked nervous.

“What is it?” 

“Promise you’ll never leave me.” 

Tubbo watched the sun slowly descend. “Tommy, you don’t have to worry. I’ll always be here for you.” 

Tommy felt the tears on his cheeks dry. “Together forever?” 

Tubbo nodded. “Together forever.”

\---

Today was Tubbo’s funeral. 

Tommy had no suit or fancy things; never needed them and didn’t care for them. So, he was headed to the ceremony in Wilbur’s old suit. It was far to big for him, and made of an itchy material Tommy hated.

Tommy had made his way to the large apiary, filled with flowers and bees. They had decided to hold Tubbo’s funeral in there, seeing as the bees were completely passive due to Tubbo’s excellent handiwork. 

Flowers lined the lush grass ground as Tommy walked towards his spot at the podium. Nearly everyone was there, and Tommy was now standing in front of 32 people, all silently waiting for him to speak. 

He felt tired. He didn’t want to be up here, sitting in this stuffy suit. The heartfelt goodbyes and pitiful tears shed for a life lost so cruelly meant nothing anymore. No apologies, no condolences, nothing could fix this. 

Nothing would be fixed here. Nothing would heal here, standing in front of all these people. 

They didn’t care about Tubbo. They just wanted to move on, to quietly pretend they cared to keep up appearances. 

This funeral doesn’t even feel like Tubbo. It feels like some simulacrum of him; some random person Tommy didn’t know pretending to be his best friend. 

God, there were so many bees. Bee carpet, yellow accents, the air smelled of honey. 

_ Tubbo was so much more than just bees, you motherfuckers.  _

Tommy cleared his throat. 

_ No emotions. Do your little speech for everyone and get the fuck out. That’s all they want, anyways.  _

_ Nobody actually cares.  _

“Hello, everyone. I would like to thank you all for coming. Tubbo was-” Tommy felt his throat close, felt himself slowly losing the battle with his own emotions. 

“Tubbo was, he was-” 

_ No. This can’t be happening. Not right now. Just stuff it up for 5 fucking minutes, you idiot- _

“Tubbo-” He felt a tear roll down his cheek.

_ None of them care about Tubbo.  _

_ None of them care.  _

“Tubbo was better than all of you, so why did he have to die?” Tommy finally said. “He was- he was kind and brave and ran a country better than any of you could at 16 years old.” The rage bubbling in his soul was fresh and hot. “How do any of you live? How do any of you live with yourselves knowing you failed him? Because I can’t!” The tears were coming freely now, and Tommy didn’t care. “All of you killed him with your war and your obsessive need for power.” He was shouting now.“He was just a kid. With a soul too kind for this world,” 

Tommy took a ragged breath. 

“All of you have his blood on your hands. All of you are to blame.” 

He turned to face the audience of shocked people in front of him. 

“And I will never forgive any of you.” 

And he ran.

\---

Tommy knew exactly where he was going. He needed to be alone from it all. 

When he finally arrived at Logshedshire, He sat at the firepit. One of the few things Dream didn’t blow up. 

“You’re not dead.” 

Tommy looked around frantically. 

_ Who followed me here? Of course i’m not dead? _

Ghostbur had appeared out of thin air. However, he was wearing the old coat he wore when Wilbur died. 

“Not right now, Ghostbur.”

“I’m not Ghostbur. Have no clue where that fucker is.” 

Tommy squinted. “What do you mean you’re not Ghostbur, I-”

“God, Tommy! Always with the fucking questions! You never can just accept things for what they are, can you? More questions. More insults. More, more, more. It’s never enough.” 

Tommy’s stare hardened. 

“You’re Alivebur, aren’t you?”

“I hate that fucking name. And yes.” Alivebur’s demeanor was so mean and cold compared to Ghostbur. 

Tommy remembered Wilbur. Not Ghostbur, or Alivebur, but Wilbur. His brother, his friend. His confidant. 

He missed Wilbur. 

“Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be dead?” Tommy muttered

“God, just SHUT UP while i’m talking!” Alivebur shouted, running a hand through his unruly hair.

Tommy gulped. 

“You were supposed to die, Tommy. When you and Tubbo were battling it out for those stupid little discs, there was a presence growing in the afterworld.  _ Your  _ presence growing in the afterworld. Tubbo was everything you never were, responsible, calm, mature. So why did he die?”

Tommy asked himself those questions every night.

“Tubbo didn’t deserve any of this. It was supposed to be you, not Tubbo. So why did he?” Alivebur laughed cruelly. “You never do seem to die, don’t you Tommy?” 

He sat across from Tommy. 

“I suppose Technoblade never did tell you the full story of Theseus, did he? That old bastard certainly had a tendency for dramatics, didn’t he? Alivebur snickered. “Guess i’m one to talk.” 

Tommy stared at the ground, unmoving.

“Theseus did slay the minotaur. Whoopie. But once he sailed back to Athens, he forgot to change the color of he sails like his father told him to do if Theseus lived. So, Theseus’s father killed himself. Theseus was given the postion as king, he ruled Athens. He had everything he could have possibly wanted.”

Alivebur sighed. “However, Theseus decided that wasn’t enough for him. That he needed a wife. He even convinced his friend Pirithous to come and kidnap wives with him. Now, Theseus did successfully kidnap his wife. But Pirithous was caught, and was sent to eternal torture in the underworld because of Theseus.

Athens didn’t throw Theseus out because he was a hero, Tommy. He was exiled for starting war due to his own failures. 

Theseus died in exile, hated by his own people who only forgave him after the bastard was dead.”

Tommy looked at the floor. 

“Theseus left behind a trail of blood and suffering wherever he went. He was a fool that died from his pride and arrogance. Make no mistake, he was a hero. But Tommy, the thing you’ve yet to understand is that  _ heroes are the real villains. _ ”

“Heros tramp around, killing whoever they want, taking whatever they want, and they get  _ praise.  _ Villains run around cleaning up their mess, and do you know what they get? Nothing.”

Wilbur stood up.

“So, in many ways, you are Theseus, Tommy. Your  _ need _ for the discs, for bloody pieces of plastic, cost Tubbo his life.  **_You killed him._ ** Not Dream, not Punz, not anyone else you’ve chosen to blame so you don’t have to face your own mistakes.”

“Go to hell, Wilbur.” 

“Planning on it. And hey, Tommy?”

Against Tommy’s instinct, he turned to look at Alivebur. 

“See you there, Theseus.”

\---

_ That bastard. He really saw a grieving child and thought “how can I make this worse?” To hell with him.  _

Tommy sat there, for a while. Mostly in shock.

_ It’s not my fault.  _

_ It’s not my fault. _

_ It’s not my fault.  _

For a moment, it was peaceful. For a moment, Tommy could pretend like all of this had never happened and Tubbo was still here, with him. 

_ He’ll be here any second now. He’ll come through the portal any second now.  _

And Tommy waited for Tubbo to step through. 

Tubbo never came. 

Someone did come through, however. That Ranboo fellow Tommy always found a little weird popped through the portal, looking frantic. 

  
  


“TOMMY? TOMMY!!” he shouted, which Tommy found a little strange. Nonetheless, he answered. 

“I want to be left alone.” He responded. 

Ranboo caught sight of him, finally. 

“Tommy- oh my god-” 

“What’s wrong, Ranboo?” Tommy raised an eyebrow. It looked like the half-enderman had been crying. “Ranboo?”

“Tommy- Dream escaped. Somehow.”

Tommy felt his vision going blurry, and the ringing in his ears gave him real physical pain as he was processing what the enderman said. 

“Dream can’t be injured-”

_ Why is this happening to me? _

“He’s somehow produced netherite and TNT and weapons out of thin air-”

_ Shouldn’t I have seen this sooner? Didn’t he tell me about this? _

“He can FLY, somehow-”

_ I let this happen. I let  _ **_all_ ** _ of this happen. _

“He’s indestructible. He’s in something Phil called ‘creative mode’.”

_ This is my fault. _

“Phil said a human can only hold the power of creative mode for so long, which means we’ve got to get back NOW so when he does lose it we can kill him!”

**_This is my fault._ **

“TOMMY! COME ON, WE HAVE TO MOVE!” Ranboo was screaming, trying to drag Tommy to the portal. 

“Ranboo, I know what I have to do.” Tommy replied calmly. 

“Tommy?” 

“Don’t worry, Ranboo. I’ll be with Tubbo, soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter might take a bit longer for me to write as it's more action/dialog and both of those things take time. please be patient with me, and thank you all for the support!


	6. let me go quietly into the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s okay, Phil. Really, it’s okay.” Tommy smiled, tears coming down his face. “Good things don’t happen to heroes.” Tommy said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the second to last chapter is finally here! it's action and i don't have much experience writing action, but i think it turned out okay! its also the longest chapter i've written yay :}
> 
> be sure to look for the epilogue because it's going to tie up all the lose ends, and as always, enjoy!
> 
> tw- death, blood, mention of suicide, slight tw for self harm

As Tommy walked through the portal, the destruction around him became vividly apparent. 

Everything was gone. L’Manberg, The Greater Dream SMP- none of it remained. Buildings blazed, smoke and blood and sorrow lay heavy in the air. Ash swirled in the air, reminding him of long ago when everyone had lit sparklers the day L’manberg won independence. The gray haze in the air was nowhere near the vibrant yellow of the sparklers; but they consumed everything nonetheless. 

Tommy walked over rubble to the shack that had been hastily built. It was feably put together with what remained, and it looked as if a large gust of wind could knock it over. 

As he entered the dingy building, he noted the people inside; Philza, Technoblade, Niki, Sapnap, and Karl stood there. 

“The others are in the apothecary. It’s the only other large building that hasn’t been destroyed.”

Tommy nodded. “Phil, I need to talk to you.” 

Phil nodded. “Yes, that’s a good idea. Let’s move over here.” He pointed towards a backroom.

Tommy followed Phil in and brought the book with him. 

“Phil, I think he figured out ‘creative mode’ from this. There are some pages ripped out but I never made note of them before, I didn’t think it was important.”

Phil stared at Tommy grimly. “Something you need to know, son-”

“Don’t call me son.” Tommy responded. 

Phil bit his lip nervously. “Something you should know, Tommy, is that i’m not human. I’m a hybrid, and i’ve lived for many centuries. This book contains magic so old and ancient my people’s purpose is to make sure it never gets in the wrong hands.” Phil glanced at the rubble outside. “I failed. But that doesn’t mean we can’t make this right.” 

Tommy paced around the tiny room. “So what do we do? How do we fight this?”

“Well, the thing with creative mode- which is really an awful name for it. The original name is  _ infinitae virtutis. _ ”

  
“Infant virus?” 

“No, infinitae virtutis.”

“Sounds like infant virus to me.”

“Tommy, it’s not-”

“Whatever. Go on, Phil.”

“The thing about infinitae virtutis is that humans can only hold it for so long. It’s power was never meant to be held by a human, which means Dream won’t be able to hold it for long. If we can get him weak enough, we can stop him. Stop this, once and for all.”

“And if that doesn’t work?”

“It will work.”

“And if it doesn’t, Phil?” Tommy was met with silence. “If it doesn’t, Phil, i’m going into creative mode. If I can get in creative mode, we’ll be on equal fighting ground. I’ll be able to stop him.”

“Tommy, you’re not strong enough. Dream has years of working with magic on his side, the chances of you surviving-”

“It doesn’t matter. Phil, I have nothing left on this server. You know that.”

“You’re just a child, Tommy!”

The words hurt Tommy. He turned to walk away. 

“Maybe I am, Phil. But just maybe it’ll give me the guts to do what has to be done, if it comes down to it.”

They rejoin the group. 

“Me and Phil agree the best tactic is to get Dream as weak as possible. If we can all be on him at once, we can take him down.” 

Sapnap stared blankly at something in his hands, when Tommy realized it was a photo. It was a photo of Sapnap, George, and Dream standing proudly infront of the community tower. 

“Alright.” Sapnap murmured. “Let’s do this.”

“Tommy, if I might pipe up here-” Niki spoke. “But ever since the destruction of L’manberg, I’ve been, well, preparing.”

“What do you mean?” Techno asked. 

“Just- have everyone follow me, okay?”

Everyone ran to the bee apothecary, where the others were.

“Follow me!” Niki commanded.

As they followed her down the tunnel hidden in the old sewers, Tommy couldn’t help but remember the 2 times he’d been in this situation before. Which outcome would this have?

When they finally reached the room, everyone gasped. Techno’s bunker was impressive, there was no doubt- but this blew it out of the water tenfold. Rows of armor stands held maxed out netherite armor, glowing vividly. 

Chests of swords, axes, bows and crossbows lined a side of the wall, another chest holding arrows tipped with deadly harming potions. 

Steak and golden apples lay plentiful in chests, as well as fireworks and shields and literally anything you could ever need for war. 

“Niki, why do you have all this stuff?”

Niki looked nervous. 

“Niki, why is there a book that says ‘plans on how to kill tommy’-”

She snapped it out of Ranboo’s hands. “No reason!” she said with a nervous smile. 

Everyone continued to gear up, although Tommy stood farther away from Niki. When everyone was ready, Technoblade stood infront of everyone. 

“I want to make something clear: I still don’t like government. Anarchy for the win.” An apple hit his head. “Hey, fuck off-” Phil gave him a dirty look. “Eugh- What i’m trying to say here is that Dream is a tyrant. And i’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner. With that out of the way, let’s kill this green guy!”

Whoops and cheers followed him out. 

Tommy felt something off. 

_ What’dyou even call that, like, a gut feeling?  _

“Where exactly IS Dream, guys?” someone called out. 

“Last time I saw him, he was at the L’manberg crater.” Techno responded. 

Everyone quietly followed. 

Tommy was getting tired of walking when they neared the crater. Tommy never liked coming here, and had only been to the destruction site twice since Doomsday. 

Right in the center of the large crater, he saw Dream. 

He was floating. Dream was floating in the air effortlessly, conjuring TNT and wither skulls instantly before Tommy. 

“Everyone!” Tommy shout-whispered. “We’ve got to position ourselves around him, everyone get in a circle around the crater!”

People spread out, saying goodbyes before they parted. Once Tommy could clearly see Dream was surrounded, he nodded to Phil. 

Dream was still focusing on making things appear from thin air when 32 arrows hit Dream at the same time. 

Tommy wasn’t sure what he expected, maybe a scream? A yell? Maybe some anger?

What he definitely wasn’t anticipating was when Dream laughed. Instantly, Dream was scanning, he was scanning for something, when Tommy realized all to late Dream was looking for  _ him.  _

“Oh Tommy. You never learn, do you?”

Dream’s voice sounded weird. Sounded loud, almost-

Tommy’s eyes widened. 

_ Sounded inhuman. _

“What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?” He stared down at Tommy. “As cute as this little army you’ve got is-” Suddenly Dream’s voice was morphing, morphing into the voice that has haunted Tommy’s dreams, that’s been with Tommy since he could talk- “It looks as if you’re missing someone.” Dream replied in Tubbo’s voice.

Tommy took only a second to make the signal to Phil when he started running towards Dream firing his crossbow. 

Tommy saw fire, explosions, and blood. He saw Dream plucking arrows out of his skin harmlessly, Tommy was no stranger to war, but this felt different. 

Suddenly, Dream was on the ground. He also happened to be charging at Tommy when Techno swiftly blocked Dream’s path to Tommy. 

“Tommy, run!” He shouted. 

“No, i’m going to help!” Tommy responded, running to the fight is. 

Technoblade was about 10 seconds away from getting stabbed in the face when Tommy blocked the axe with his sword, and now it was 2v1. Tommy was mostly distracting Dream and Techno was mostly fighting, and despite that Dream was still winning until Ranboo started hurling potions of harming at Dream. Or when NIki started shooting arrows at him and everyone else was on Dream, slowly weakening his forces.

Then, there was a blast as everyone was knocked over. All the cuts and bruises and injuries on Dream’s body faded away in an instant. He had already healed. 

Tommy knew that he needed to buy time, knew this was a battle they would not win and prepared to do the thing he dreaded. 

“Cover me!” he yelled to Phil. Tommy was sprinting towards his dirt shack, sprinting towards his ender chest when he finally grabbed the two discs from the glowing blue box. Running back, he shouted. 

“HEY DREAM! LOOK AT THIS YOU BIG GREEN BITCH!” 

He broke cat in half and threw Mellohi into the forest somewhere and he ran as Dream charged toward him, screaming something like “NONONONO!” 

Running back towards everyone, he gave Phil a look. 

“He shouldn’t have creative mode anymore, it should be too much. He must not be human, which means-”

“Which means we have no idea how long he can hold creative mode. Yeah. Phil, i’m doing the thing we talked about.”

“Tommy, wait, just give me a second to think about this-”

“No, Phil. You’re not stopping me.”

“What’s happening?” Techno growled. “What’re you two planning?”

“Tommy, it’s suicide.” Phil continued.

“Yeah? And?” Tommy sighed. “I’ve made my mind up, Phil. I’m doing this.”

People started to gather by Tommy, and he sighed as he stood on a chest infront of him.

Tommy cleared his throat. 

“Last time I was in this position, it, uh, didn’t go very well. But i’m not here to blame anymore. I just have something to say before, I, well, die.”

The crowd stared at him. 

"All my life, i always wanted to be the hero. and as I speak to all of you I realize; I am one. 

A hero isn't defined by their fame or glory. What makes someone a hero is their death. Heros don't get happy endings; they don't live to see the joy they bring. They die tragically and that is what makes them heroes. 

So all i ask is when i am gone is to remember me. because the only thing worse than a tragic hero is a forgotten one."

“Tommy, is there anyway I can get you to change your mind?” Phil asked.

“No, Phil. The only person that could’ve is Tubbo.”

Phil nodded. 

“When you’re ready, then.”

Tommy grabbed the book from his backpack and turned to the page Dream had missed. It was full of scribbles, presumably done by Dream himself. It looked like the work of a madman. 

Tommy started reciting words when he realized he was floating. He was in pain, the pain worse than any arrow or sword or potion he’d ever been hurt with. It was like burning alive, like drowning, like dying a million different ways over and over again at the exact same time.

Then it started to subside. 

Tommy took a sword and squeezed the blade in his hands. The blood ran hot, and Tommy thought maybe everything had gone wrong when he realized the injury had already healed. 

Tommy thought about saying goodbye, but decided against it. 

_ It’ll only make things worse.  _

He willed himself to fly, and he did. He thought of a jukebox in his hands, and one appeared. 

Tommy took off for Dream. 

Dream was still searching for the discs when Tommy found him. 

“Nonono need the discs need the discs-” Dream mumbled.

“Oi, bitch!” Tommy yelled.

Dream didn’t even look at Tommy as he slowly stood up.

“Tommy, please. Don’t embarrass yourself.” Dream responded. “I may be a bit lacking on the morality department, but I have standards!”

“You’re not the only one with some fancy spell, Dream.” Tommy replied coldly.

Dream turned around to face Tommy and realized the younger man was several feet in the air.

“This is your plan? To die heroically so you can see Tubbo again?” Dream laughed darkly. “You’re not fooling anyone, Tommy. Everyone knows you couldn’t give a shit about anyone here. Everyone knows this whole hero thing you’ve made up is a lie so you don’t feel bad about leaving behind everyone who’s ever cared for you.”

“My motive here doesn’t matter, Dream.” Tommy responded, trying to shove down his fears. “What matters here, Dream, is that none of us are leaving this alive.”

Dream only glanced with what Tommy thought looked oddly like pity. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Tommy.”

An axe materializes in Dream’s arms, a sword in Tommy’s.

“You sure you want to do this?”

Tommy snarled. “Bring it on, bitch.”

They stood at each other for a second, staring, when Dream made the first move. He swiped at Tommy’s feet, but Tommy quickly jumped and went to slash Dream’s shoulder. Dream lowered his head just in time for the sword to pass cleanly through air, and before Dream could react, the blade of Tommy’s sword was heading toward the older man’s torso. Dream pushed the sword away with his axe.

“Not bad, Tommy. Not bad.”

Dream quickly manuevered behind Tommy and brought his axe on Tommy’s shoulder, and the searing pain was not lost on the blond. Tommy attempted to make a jab for Dream’s shoulder, to which dream took a swing at Tommy’s leg, which was now injured. 

Tommy paused for a moment, retreating a bit, and his injuries were gone. 

“You can’t win this, Dream. I’ll just keep healing.”

“Neither can you, Tommy. I’ll just keep healing, and waiting for you to heal, and you’ll  _ never get rid of me.” _

The realization sunk into Tommy. It was never going to end, truly. Not as long as Dream could heal. 

Tommy took a moment to think of Tubbo, to think of what Tubbo would tell him. 

_ It’s not worth it, Tommy. Don’t do it.  _

_ I have to, Tubbo. _

Tommy started swinging at Dream, which he blocked, time after time again. Tommy realized what he should do.

Tommy kept swinging, hoping Dream wouldn’t notice the end crystal Tommy had summoned behind his hand. Then, all of a sudden Tommy shoved the end crystal at Dream’s face. 

_ Tommy, this isn’t what you think it is.  _

Tommy kept throwing them, each crystal hurting Dream more and more. 

_ Tommy, please stop. _

They kept coming. Dream was lying on the ground now, and Tommy ran over to him.

_ Please. _

Dream was coughing and hacking, and what was even more concerning to Tommy was that Dream’s wounds weren’t healing. 

Dream’s mask had been blown to bits. 

“Tommy-”

“Why aren’t you healing? What?”

“Tommy you have a choice to make.”

Tommy stared blankly at Dream. 

“You can die or I can.”

Tommy tried to ignore the aching in his body. 

“What do you mean?”

“You can take my power. It’s the only thing keeping me alive, you can take it and kill me. You can also give me your power, which would kill you. Once a human enters  _ infinitae virtutis, _ they will die once they can no longer hold it’s power.”

“So why wouldn’t I just kill you?”

“Because, Tommy. If you take my power, you become immortal. You become something different than human, like an upgraded version of homosapien. You will never die. You’ll never see Tubbo again, Tommy.”

Dream coughed.

“So I suggest you give me your power right now.”

“If I- If I don’t give you my power right now I’ll never see Tubbo again?”

Dream sickered. “No, you won’t. Hurry up, Tubbo’s waiting.”

“But that would make you immortal…”

“Well, I already was. However it will make me so much more  _ powerful _ . Anyways, this is boring. I’m ready.”

_ Tubbo, i’m so sorry.  _

Tommy thought he heard a small voice in his head.

_ It’s okay, Tommy. _

Tommy placed a hand on Dream’s chest, and slowly but surely pure light started crawling up Tommy’s arm. 

“Wait- Tommy, what are you doing-”

“What does it look like, Dream?”

“But you’ll never see Tubbo again. You’ll always be here.”

“I’m aware of that.”

“But-”

“I can’t leave my friends here to deal with you. Dream, you’re too much of a liability.”

“Tommy, no, stop, WAIT-”

As the last trickles of light seeped out, Dream suddenly fell limp.

_ He’s dead. _

Tommy observed the ashen sky above him. 

_ And I might as well be.  _

He carried Dream’s body back to everyone, and the instant Phil saw he knew what had happened. 

“Oh, Tommy, please tell me you didn’t-”

“It’s okay, Phil. Really, it’s okay.” Tommy smiled, tears coming down his face. “Good things don’t happen to heroes.” Tommy said.   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> epilogue coming soon, hopefully! i already have a general idea for what it's going to look like so it shouldn't take as long as this chapter did.


	7. please don't go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t fair. 
> 
> Tubbo tried to do something, anything. Move his hand, blink, breathe.
> 
> Nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// attempted suicide and death
> 
> a part of me never thought i would finish this fic. i've always struggled with following things through, and writing has been no exception. i have a million half-baked ideas and stories written that i've never had the energy to finish, but now, after all the time and revision and google searching- it's here. wow. this took a while, to say the least. i don't know why but i got major writing block writing this chapter, but eventually i worked through it. before the last chapter, i just wanted to say thank you. thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to all of you. i just want to say thank you to everyone who's supported me in writing this. every single comment, kudos and hit gave me that much more motivation to finish this story without any of you. in particular, i'd like to thank one friend. they know who they are, but i don't think i would have even started writing this fic without them let alone finish it. so thank you. with that out of the way, i hope you all enjoy the final chapter of theseus.

Shortly after his death and subsequent relocation to this weird plane of existence, Tubbo was visited by what he could only describe as a presence. It was glowing; and vaguely feminine.

“My child.” It said. 

Tubbo stared curiously. “Who are you?” 

“I am the stars, the sun and the rain. I am the glee in your heart and the sadness in your soul. For me to truly explain who I am, it would take an infinity. We do not have that much time.”

Tubbo blinked.

“What I am here to tell you, my child. Is that you may move on. You can move onto another life. Your connection to this one is strong, no doubt there. Perhaps it might be better to move on.”

“I don’t want to leave.” Tubbo responded, looking away from the glowing figure. “I have to be here for Tommy.”

The figure sighed. “As you wish. If you ever do wish to leave, however, do just wish for me. I can always deliver you to your next life.” 

And the figure disappeared.

Tubbo was always the emotional friend. Tubbo wasn’t afraid to cry, or tell Tommy how much he cared for him. Tubbo didn’t see the need to hide his feelings, or mask himself. 

Tubbo looked down at Tommy and wanted to weep. Wanted to weep for the agony, the hurt, the loneliness, the ultimate tragedy their story was. 

It wasn’t fair. 

Tubbo tried to do something,  _ anything. _ Move his hand, blink, breathe.

Nothing. 

The first few weeks, Tommy spent day after day trying to kill himself. 

  
“IT’S NOT WORTH IT ANYMORE! IT NEVER WAS!” He would scream to Phil, while the older man held Tommy back from the glistening lava. 

“Tommy, please…” Phil whispered. “It’s not going to work. You know it won’t.”

It didn’t stop Tommy from finally wrestling out of Phil’s grasp and running into the fiery abyss. 

Drowning, explosion, magic, burning, none of it worked. No matter what, Tommy was truly invincible now. Not like Dream or Tommy used to be; They still got hurt, their injuries just healed too fast for it to matter. Now, nothing could even harm Tommy. Eventually, after a long time, Tommy accepted his immortality as fact. 

He locked himself in Tubbo’s whitehouse and didn’t leave. If you listened, you could hear the heartbroken sobs of someone who never got to be a child. For a long time, it seemed like it would never stop. 

Then, like a wave eventually crashes, like a song eventually stops, it did. Tommy, slowly, surely, began to move on. It wasn’t by any means fast- Tommy took his time healing. How, truly, do you begin to move on with no end in sight? And yet- he did. At a snails pace, Tubbo saw Tommy pick up the shattered pieces of his own soul. 

It started when he moved out of Tubbo’s house and lived with Techno and Phil for a while. Tubbo watched from afar, impossibly far yet inches away as Tommy stopped mourning. Stopped hurting, started letting himself heal. 

  
  
  


A part of Tubbo was angry. So angry, so mad, so lonely. Some inexplicable part of him wanted nothing more than to curse out the universe, “Why? Why me, Why him, why?” Sometimes, he did. 

Tubbo pushed down that part of himself. 

Watching Tommy and never being able to see him felt like setting a bone improperly. Theres the initial shocking pain, like neverending agony. It never stops hurting, the wound is always there. Still angry. But eventually, you learn to move past it. To stop focusing on it. It’s different from healing, because even years after that pain is still there if you focus on it hard enough. It’s always there, festering. 

Tubbo had grown accustom to watching Tommy live, and for the most part it was boring. Maintain peace throughout the Dream SMP, (something Tubbo thought was the last thing Tommy would do.) Tubbo watched Tommy rebuild L’manberg and make peace with the people. Tubbo saw Tommy grow into the person everybody said he would never be. When Tubbo looked at Tommy; now around 50 years old still at 16, he saw a man. Not a child, despite his outwardly appearance; but a man. 

Things turned starkly when Phil got sick. 

Things got worse when Tommy laid the fresh roses on the cold stone encompassing Phil’s name. 

At least now Tubbo had a friend. 

Phil also had the option to move on. He could’ve at any moment. Eventually he would press the button, choose to forget, to stop the hurt. 

“Not yet.” Phil said. “I can’t leave yet.”

And without saying anything else, Tubbo knew why. They both had to watch him, had to make sure he was okay. It was like they both owed it to him, to stay.

So now, the two of them watched Tommy. Silently most days. What else was there to say, really? 

Nothing that would help. 

As the decades passed; people died and people were born into the Dream SMP. The stories of Tubbo and Tommy; Of Wilbur and L’manburg lived long in the gold accented novels held in vast buildings. 

Tommy was thought of, to lightly put it, as a god. He rejected the title of course, and Tubbo still laughed whenever people would try and kiss his feet or something weird. 

At one point, the void like state of existence Tubbo resided in was filled with people. At one point, Tubbo grew curious. 

“Hey, Phil? Why did only some of us arrive here? Like, where’s Dream and Wilbur?”

Phil pondered this. “Probably like a hell/heaven situation. They were bad people, Tubbo. Let’s just be glad we aren’t with them.”

Tubbo gave a slight laugh. “Yeah, haha.”

A group of people he didn’t know, from after he had died ushered him over, presumably to gush over him. He was not used to his whole celebrity status in the afterlife, but nonetheless he welcomed it. As he stood laughing with these random people, he thought  _ Maybe this afterlife isn’t so bad.  _

A few more centuries past, and everyone had moved onto another life. Nobody had died in decades, not after people found a way to fuse totems of undying to someone’s soul. 

Everyone, of course, except for Tubbo. He remained ever vigilant; still watching Tommy from afar. 

The figure appeared again. 

“My child, are you ready to move on?” 

“No.” he replied firmly. “I’m not leaving Tommy.” 

“Haven’t you watched over him enough? There’s nothing left for you here, my child.”

“I’m staying.”

“Very well.”

They sat in silence for a few moments. 

“You, my child, have waited the longest than anyone else ever has. Is there anything I could give you? Anything?”

Tubbo didn’t even look to face the figure. 

“Can you let me see Tommy?”

The figure pondered this. “I think so.” 

Later that night, Tubbo watched as Tommy feel asleep, when all of a sudden he was too. 

He was in L’manberg,  _ Old L’manberg.  _ There was the bench, Tommy’s house, all of it. 

And there was Tommy. 

“Why do I always come back here?” Tommy shouted to nobody. “Why- why won’t you just let me die?” 

“Tommy?” 

Tommy whipped his head around. 

“T-Tubbo?” 

At once, after hundreds or thousands or millions of years, at once, they ran towards each other in an embrace that in that moment evaporated the pain and hurt and loneliness of their time apart. 

“You’re real! I mean, fucking hell, man, you’re actually real?” Tommy yelled. 

Tubbo grinned. “I mean, i’m pretty bloody sure I am!”

“Ah man Tubs, I just- i’ve been so lonely. It’s gotten easier, but I miss you every single day-”

“Me too, Tommy. Me too.” 

Tommy and Tubbo sat on the bench, reminiscing the good old times and laughing at the new ones. Tubbo hadn’t felt this happy in centuries, hadn’t felt this ecstatic since he was alive. 

“So, what’s your new life like, Tubbo? You’ve probably lived multiple by now, tell me about them!”

Tubbo raised an eyebrow at Tommy. 

  
“What do you mean?”

Tommy laughed. “Don’t worry Tubbo. The weird glowy lady told me that was your future, that you could choose whenever you wanted to be reincarnated in a new life. You’re not spilling any top secret afterlife info.” Tommy chuckled.

Tubbo bit his lip. “Tommy, I never moved onto another life. I’ve been watching over you.”

Tommy looked confused. “What do you mean? Surely you haven’t been just, well, watching me for centuries and centuries. 

“But I have.”

Tommy had a look of confusion and anger on his face. “If that- if that’s all you’ve been doing, why didn’t you let me revive you?

Tubbo looked away from Tommy. “I was worried I would make things worse for you.”

Tommy looked hurt. “Me- you’ve been staying here all this time for me?”

“Well, yeah.”

Tommy closed his eyes for a second. “Tubbo, i’m going to say something very uncharacteristic of me and I need you to listen to what I say.”

Tubbo nodded.

“Tubbo, mate… you need to move on.” Silence. “You’re not helping yourself staying here, Tubbo. It’s only holding you back. I really- I really think you should leave this place.”

“No, Tommy, it’s okay. I like being here, really.”

“Do you, Tubbo? Or are you telling yourself that because you feel like you owe me?”

Tubbo gulped.

“I can’t leave. I’ll never see you again.”

“Maybe that’s what you need, Tubbo. I’ll be fine. I literally can’t be hurt.”

Suddenly, the glowing figure appeared. 

“Soon, i’m afraid, this meeting will have to be cut short. I cashed in a favor with the moon so you two could share this dream together but unfortunately Tommy is going to wake up soon.”

“Uh, glowing figure thingy? Can Tubbo leave now? To like, another life?” 

The figure looked curiously at Tommy. “Yes, I suppose so.” The figure conjured a portal of some sort; it was glowing. 

Tommy took Tubbo’s hand. “Please? Do it for me?”

Tubbo looked unsure. “Tommy, I don’t think so-”

Tommy looked sad. “Tubbo, please. I couldn’t live with myself if I knew you basically gave up yourself for me. Go! Live life! Have fun, be happy. Make mistakes, and forgive others for theres. Do what I will never be able to. Please.” 

Tubbo stood by the portal, weighing the pros and cons. 

“Are you sure, Tommy?” 

“Yes. Positive.”

Tubbo felt the tears well in his eyes. “Hey, Tommy?”

“Yeah, Tubbo?”

“In another life, we would’ve had forever.”

And Tubbo stepped into the light. 

Two figures stared at the scene. One appeared to be a little girl, who looked particularly small compared to the old man next to her. 

**Can’t we change their fates? This isn’t fair.**

**You know we can’t, Vita.**

**It’s not fair. They did everything right.**

**That might be true. Still. There are other stories to be told, and some of them must have a happier ending. Let’s go look.**

**If you say so, Tempus.**

_**The End** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, thank you all for your support. i can't thank you all enough. i will hopefully be putting out some one-shots soon- i have a vilbur and a karl oneshot in the works :) thank you, and goodnight.


End file.
